Monday, October 31, 2011

A pumpkin memory

Today we carved a pumpkin "with" Caroline. It's one of the memories we wanted to share with her just in case this is her only chance to experience some things. I decided to make her pumpkin a little special. No boring smiley faced jack-o-lanterns for our girl. Haha.

As I was cleaning out the inside of the pumpkin (which I don't really like to do, by the way), I thought about how I would let her touch the slimy grossness inside the pumpkin just to see what she would do. Haha. I finally got all the gunk out. Whew.

I debated what I wanted to carve for Caroline's pumpkin. It's hard for me these days to make some decisions about what I'd like to do "with" Caroline. I just hate that I might only have one chance, so I try really hard to make it good. I went back and forth a lot about her pumpkin. But I decided on this when it came down to it.

She's my little angel, regardless the outcome of her life. And she's shining a light even now, so I figured this was appropriate. Here's a few pictures of the process.


Cameron joined the fun too. He took on the role of cameraman most of the time, but he did carve a pumpkin too. This was his. :) He was very proud.
Haha. He was going to carve "Happy Halloween" into his pumpkin. After he got "happy" done, he decided "Halloween" would take too long, so he just wrote "boo" instead.
Happy Boo indeed. Haha.

I really enjoyed sharing this time with Caroline. I know it may seem strange to think of her as being here with us making memories, but that's ok. It means a lot to me. I mean, really, most kids don't really "remember" the early years of their lives anyway. We make memories for them, more for our sake than theirs. So I guess that's kinda how I feel about it with Caroline.

I do still hope and pray that we'll get to make memories with her later, too, but in case that's not God's plan, I'm going to keep doing things "with" her anyway. I'm glad God has given me this time with her, and I'll keep treasuring the "memories" as we go.


  1. Hi Emily, Cameron, and Caroline. My name is Michelle. I am Gary's mom. (H.B.'s Gary)
    I just want you to know I am praying for you daily and you are an inspiration to so many. Love your pumpkins, they turned out great!

  2. Thanks Michelle! We appreciate your prayers and kindness. :)


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