Remembrance Day

For those of you who don't know, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I think for those of us who have lost a child, it doesn't really take a day set aside for us to remember our babies. However, it is nice to have a day set aside for others to remember with us.

I remember a lot these days because I'm carrying Everleigh. I can't help but compare and contrast my two pregnancies, to note differences in their little personalities, even in utero.

It's been just over a year since we got Caroline's diagnosis, exactly 10 months since she was born, two months till her first birthday. We've gotten through almost all our "firsts" without her.

I look at today as a way to remember the good that has come from Caroline's time here with us. I've made new friends, grown closer to old friends, drawn closer to my family and my husband, closer to God. I've learned so much about what being a mom is, how to be a better one. I've learned to appreciate things I didn't before. I've learned not to take things for granted. I learned a lot about God's grace and mercy, His love and patience, His healing and kindness.

Caroline was a blessing. I would have loved to have been able to keep her for a while, but I am so grateful for her regardless. She was, and is, such a precious gift, one I will never forget, and one that I will treasure always. The pain of her loss is lessened by time, but there will always be an ache in my heart as I wait to see her again in Heaven.

I am so grateful for Caroline. I am so grateful for all my friends and family who supported me while I was carrying her, and continue to support me beyond. I am so grateful for a God who is so amazing and so loving that He would give me Caroline, then walk me through each day with her. I am truly blessed. I am truly loved.

So today, sweet Caroline, know that I love you, I miss you, and I can't wait to see you again in Heaven. You are such a precious girl.